The Zelda Project Part 4: Majora's Mask

What a terrible 3 Day Cycle for a curse

From my experience, there are two types of Zelda players. Those who think Ocarina of Time is the best, or those who think Majora's Mask is the best. But, my scope of people I know personally who even play these games is relatively small. If anything, Majora's Mask is that one Zelda game that people who are fans of the series point to whenever someone criticizes the games for being samey.

"UGH! All these games are about saving some spoiled princess. I want something different!" - Some asshole, probably

"Well, why don't you play Majora's Mask?" - A Zelda Fan responds, out of the darkness.

And then maybe the asshole plays it and has a change of heart? I don't know, What I DO know is that Majora's Mask is definitely different, which is something I said I wanted when I first started playing Zelda games. Yes, I was that Some Asshole. I'm a Super Mario kind of guy, and lets be honest; that plumber has been places. He's been to space for Christ sake! Link, on the other hand has been to Hyrule and...Lowrule...and wherever Link's Awakening takes place. I just think that games should expand with it's sequels. A change of scenery and a change of pace.

And that is exactly what this game gave me. A different scenery. There is definitely no boring overworld here. Or a wood level. Or an ice level. Or a water level. Surely there is not.

Oh, there is? Well is there at least a Big World like in Super Mario Bros 3? No?

Welp...

At The Time/Background

Majora's Mask came out in 2000, so I guess my statement in the last review saying that by the time I had gotten my N64 all of the "famous" games were out was wrong. A quick Google search shows that that was absolute bullshit. Banjo-Tooie, Kirby 64, Paper Mario, Perfect Dark, and Conker's Bad Fur Day were all on the way. So, all these great games were coming out and I was playing WCW Backstage Assault, Hey You! Pikachu! and Croc 2. All of those games suck, by the way. I also got Pokemon Silver at some point, so not everything was bad, but the bad definitely outweighed the good.

I guess if I have to point out the moment I realized Zelda games existed, it would have been around this time. I used to see the box at my local video rental place. The mask on the cover looked really cool and tribal, and it definitely caught my eye more often then not. And like most interesting games at the time, it was always rented out. So, that small urge I could have had to play it was quickly dashed away. Plus, it was 2000, the year of Xtreme. So I was busy playing Tony Hawk games, flipping off of ladders onto trampolines like the Hardy Boyz, and wearing Chuck Taylor's.

This time in my life is really weird to try and pinpoint, because it was sort of a transition period. In my personal life, I had moved to a new town. And that came with a loss of some interests. I stopped caring about Power Rangers, tried to get into sports, and started focusing on school. Video games stopped appealing to me. Everything that was coming out at the time that catered to my interests was bad, and I complained about it. Can you guess what happens when a kid complains to their parents that their games suck? That's right, no more games.

This is also around the time that the local video stores stopped carrying older games, as in games for the SNES and Genesis games, which had more things I recognized and wanted to play. I tried to adapt to the changes, but the games just were not doing it for me. I distinctly remember renting the Digimon World game for PS1. I loved the show, so I thought "Duh! It's gonna be awesome!" I don't know what kind of game it was, but I do know that it wasn't for me. I don't think I ever figured out how to leave the first room.

My mom paid $5 for me to look at this screen for a week. Sorry Mom.

These kinds of experiences made me realize a couple of things. The first, which I'm sure is going to be an unpopular opinion, is that all of the controls for the PS1 and N64 games are terrible. There's not one that is good. Even games I love from the era, like Spyro The Dragon, Metal Gear Solid, and WWF No Mercy control like you're using a hot dog. And sure, there are some that control better than others, but just as a blanket, even the best suck. That's why I played this and Ocarina on the Zelda Collector's Edition that came out on the Gamecube.

The second is that my "types" of games were going away. The age of 2D action-platformers was over. Mega Man wasn't flashy enough for the new wooshy 3D graphics. At least not the Mega Man I know and love. None of the series I actually love survived the jump to 3D well aside from Mario. And to be honest, until Super Mario Galaxy came out, I thought the 3D Mario games sucked too.

So yeah, before this section goes on forever, I had just become disenchanted with where games were going. More on how I got back into games in Part 5.

In The Beginning

The game opens with a little blurb about finding your..."friend", Navi. She ran away, I guess, when you got sent back in time after the events of Ocarina. On the way you run into a bunch of assholes, namely a guy named Skull Kid, which is a shitty name considering there's a whole race of these guys. I don't know if any of the other skull kids have names or if they're all just called Skull Kid. Regardless, this one has a mask on. He uses the powers of this mask to knock you off of your horse and turn you into a Deku Scrub. Skull Kid then runs away with his two faries, Tatl and Tael. Tatl get's left behind and tries to help you, calling Skull Kid a jerk. You run into the Happy Mask Salesman from the last game, who tells you about the mask Skull Kid is wearing. Basically, it's an ancient evil mask that this creep shouldn't have had in the first place and was stolen from him by Skull Kid. He says Skull Kid is gong to be overcome by the power, and that you, Link, need to get it back for him.

Then the bullshit begins.

You see, Majora's Mask has this really amazing, super cool, totally awesome mechanic where the world works under Groundhog Day rules. You repeat a three-day cycle, jumping through numerous hoops, in order to be prepared to fight Skull Kid and stop him from crashing the moon into the earth.

Swiggity Swooty

So you live out the initial three day cycle, meet Skull Kid at the top of the main clock tower in town, get your ocarina back, have a flashback where you relearn the Song of Time from Princess Zelda and turn back time. You meet with the Happy Mask Salesman again, and he breaks your curse and reminds you that you need to get that mask back. And so you begin.

The Quest

So you're in Clock Town, in a three day cycle, and you have four temples to beat in order to release some spirits who will...hold Skull Kid? It's not really clear what they'll do until the end. I think it might be mentioned once or twice, but I missed the reasoning past Tael telling you to go to place. You just do it. And from here it becomes pretty standard fare for a Zelda game, just with a time limit, which makes everything better. The catch this time is that, instead of just using your collected arsenal, you collect masks of fallen heroes and basically assume their identities. Each of the three main masks has it's own powers. And you use them in their respective dungeons and to solve puzzles in the over world.

And so now we defeat dungeons in a predetermined order to get the masks. And they go in the order you'd expect, Wooded/Grass temple, Ice/Earth temple, Water temple, and then the outlier Stone Temple. That's right, only four dungeons this time.

Woodfall Temple is neat enough. There's some fun platforming sections (something that's hard to pull off with the primitive 3D controls) involving the flower cannons with the Deku Mask. The puzzles are well done, and some of the sections are pretty memorable. 

Snowfall Temple is...less memorable. It has some pillar puzzles, and rolling sections where you have to get to the top of this big pillar and get a rolling start to make it to the boss room, but it's more frustrating than it is enjoyable.

Great Bay Temple is actually not that bad, which could just be me coming to terms with water levels in Zelda games. Either that or I have some sort of twisted Stockholm Syndrome where I've read how terrible this is and it just didn't live up to that hype. It's thankfully much shorter than the original Water Temple, but the swimming physics and controls make it more of a pain in the ass than it needs to be. I will give it an edge over Ocarina's water temple, if only because it's a lot more straight forward. There's no switching boots and switching levels to get a thing to go to a place. You just get a thing, turn the water wheel, and go the other way. Easy peasy. Honestly, if it wasn't for the awkward swimming controls, I'd really like this one. Not great, but acceptable.

The Stone Temple is a very different dungeon, and the kind of thing that is right up my alley. Very puzzle heavy, lots of mini bosses and fun enemies to face, and a really, REALLY satisfying boss battle to finish it all off. The trip to get to the temple is pretty cool as well, which helped bring my mood up about this game. In fact, the whole section from Ikana Canyon to the finish of the Stone Temple is almost everything I would want from a Zelda game and truly is another great example of how the series builds up the games and saves the best Dungeons and sections for last.

Other than that last section though, there isn't a whole lot in the main quest to talk about. Honestly, it just breaks down to get a mask, go to the dungeon, beat the boss, reset time, and go to the next. That's not to say that this is ALL the game has to offer in the main quest, because there are sections linking the dungeons that are fun to play, such as the Canyon leading to the Stone Temple or the Pirate Cove leading to the Water Temple. But these sections are few and the dungeons aren't really long enough to supplement. But even if they were, nobody wants to play a dungeon for two hours because it feels like there is no progress made. It's really hard to find a happy medium with such little content.

With that said, the main quest of Majora's Mask is not what should get the most attention here; as anyone who enjoys the game will tell you. This game's biggest charm is in it's side quests, which I was reluctant to do at first. But if you don't, the game is harder and much more bare bones. The people of Clock Town are interesting and lead interesting lives. People disappear and you have to find them. People run out of toilet paper and you need to help them. Deku salesmen want a better place to operate businesses, so you find them deeds to different locations. It feels like a living world. It's one of the strongest aspects of the game, and makes it worth playing. The characters all have fun personalities, some have some witty lines, and a lot of them are off the wall. My favorite is probably the mailman, who you can find practicing counting to 10 in the post office. He says it's not as easy as it looks and challenges you to do it. And he's right, it's not easy. But it's ridiculous in a really charming way and is going to make me remember him long after I've forgotten the guy that takes over the ranch in Ocarina of Time (Melon or whoever he is, who cares).

Doing the side quests will bank you extra collectible masks that will eventually earn you the FIERCE DEITY MASK, one of the coolest designs in a video game ever. This mask was the incentive for me to try to complete as much of this game as possible. And believe me, as a person who hates jumping through hoops, this should paint how awesome this is. I'm not going to lie to you though, I did look up a guide to find all the masks. I know, sue me. But I wanted to move on. I still played the dungeons straight up, so I have no shame "cheating" to figure out where  to find the invisible dancing ghost is that teaches the twins a dance.

HE LOOKS SO AWESOME!!!

The Bosses

They range from bland to pretty good, but there's not much middle ground. The first two suck and the second two are a lot of fun. None of them stick out like Bongo Bongo, that's for sure, and because of that I never took the time to learn their names. There's Tribal Stereotype, who uses a sword. There's Lightning Rhino-Thing, that you just sort of run into a lot with the Goron Roll attack. There's GYORG, the armored fish, who is actually the best boss in the game. He hits hard, is an actual challenge, and was just pretty fun to fight. Then there are the Giant Twin Worms. And they were cool, but not as cool as GYORG. The battle reminds me of what Shadow of The Colossus tried to go for, except (and here's a spoiler for a 17 year old game) you get a mask that lets you become gigantic for the fight yourself! Even if it really is just a cosmetic thing, it makes the fight feel way more awesome.

The final boss is in a league of it's own within the confines of this game. It's an awesome three-part fight that I stupidly went into unprepared. But, thanks to my collecting and the FIERCE DEITY MASK, I defeated it in my first go. I don't want to give anything away, just in case someone reading is like me and hasn't had it spoiled for them, but the reveal of what Majora's Mask is and how the backstory to the carnival of time plays into the final fight is cool. It is admittedly not as good as the Ganon fight in Link to The Past or Ocarina, but it is the best of the game by far (go figure).

Despite them being 50/50 for entertainment value, at the end of the day the main fights leading up to the end don't have any weight to them. And that could just be because there's less of them. It could also be because the game took a different focus that left their defeat leaving less of an impact. Which is fine, it IS a game going in a different direction after all. In a game, you get gratification from defeating something. But that gratification diminishes when that enemy just comes back or respawns. It gets annoying and becomes a chore, but it's a design choice that in a game like Ninja Gaiden would add challenge. But when it's a boss that comes back to life after you beat it? Then it makes it feel cheap.

It is, however, cheap by design; the boss battles being undone with the reset of time is supposed to drive home how little impact you have if you don't stop the real danger. And because of that, I don't expect them to all have bosses as good as Link To The Past's. But just because the game is designed this way it doesn't stop me from feeling like I wasted my time when the bosses just come back. Not a total waste of time, mind you, but a waste none the less. It really starts feeling meaningless if you have to backtrack because you missed an item. Because if that item requires certain conditions be met that only happen AFTER you beat the bosses, then you get to fight them again! Yay! (This is sarcasm).

But hey, at least the game will just warp you to the boss if you have already beaten the dungeon, so that's a plus. And I only had to backtrack twice. Once for the sword upgrade and once because I didn't grab a mask after the first dungeon.

Don't get me wrong, the bosses are not bad by any means. It's just that they're barely a blip on the radar. And they just serve as an obstacle you have to get past to keep collecting. Because this game is not an action adventure RPG. It feels much more like a collectathon, at least that's how it feels to me.

And guess what?

The Criticism

I. DON'T. LIKE. COLLECTATHONS.

There's a lot about this game that I don't like. Charm can only get you so far. It just has very little to offer ME. I don't like side quests. I'm not a completionist. And that makes collecting everything a chore. And the boss battles, my favorite part of video games, just don't do it for me in this one. I will admit that as I went on, I enjoyed the game a lot more. But I had too many issues to say that I truly enjoyed it. The total package just is not as good as the previous games in the series I've played.

So why do people like this game so much? It has to be the charm of the characters, because there isn't much else here to offer aside from the REAL threat of the world ending, which is only a threat in theory; or unless you actively let the time run out.

And speaking of time, the time mechanic is so revolutionary and popular that the Zelda series, known for carrying over the best parts of previous games, NEVER BROUGHT IT BACK AGAIN. I'm not sure if people praise it because it adds imaginary challenge, or if the thought of a ticking clock makes people anxious and that adds interest, or what. But I do know that it makes the game into time management simulator. Which is fine and dandy; I mean, I love games like Stardew Valley and Harvest Moon. But in a Zelda game it only serves to be tedious. Because, dear reader, if you miss an event on day two at 2 AM, you can't just rewind time a bit. You have to play the Song of Time to rewind to the first day. But, hey, you can just play the Song of Double Time to skip right to the second day, right? Yeah, unless the quest your on requires you to do shit on the other days. And even if you DON'T have any extra stuff and you just have to go to 2 AM on day two, you have to play the Song of Double Time THREE TIMES and STILL wait for the time to hit 2 AM.

And you know what? That's fine, some people are into that sort of thing. As Yatzee Croshaw of "Zero Punctuation" puts it, the world doesn't revolve around you anymore. Nothing is waiting for you. That's great. But if the whole idea is just undercut because you can control time itself, then who cares? All of your items carry over if you reset time, so you lose nothing going back unless you forget to bank your rupees. So really, you can just plan your timelines around it and unless you ROYALLY screw something up, the mechanic is just in the background. The time mechanic only got in my way once, during the first temple, when I ran out of time shooting an arrow through fire to hit a torch from a spinning platform. So I was forced to reset time and do the whole temple over again. And you know what? That sucks. But hey, immediately after that, I found out about the Reverse Song of Time that slows down the time flow. Which made the timer even less relevant when not doing side quests. So, yeah...I just see it as pointless.

It just seems so tedious. It's like the whole game is the Water Temple from Ocarina, but it's timed. And even though you have a rewind feature, it just comes across as pointless to me. Again, I see the appeal of it. I like the idea even, because in theory it builds tension. But at the same time it's like watching a movie with your friends, but that one friend we all have is talking over an important scene in the third act. And you miss something that's crucial to understanding what's going on with the plot. So you have to rewind it. But when you rewind, it takes you back to the beginning of the movie. And you can fast forward, but only to six predetermined spots in the movie and then go from there. Wouldn't that be completely awful? Wouldn't you just think it's a gigantic waste of time? Side note here; apparently it WAS such a gigantic waste of time that Nintendo changed how the the Song of Double Time functions in the (relatively) recent 3DS remaster of Majora's Mask by letting you pick where you move time to. Which, itself, continues to undercut the challenge and ominous dread of the game because now time is literally in your hands. So yeah, the time mechanic is broken either way. Damned if you do, damned if you don't I guess.

And that's how I feel about most of Majora's Mask. That's why it took me so long to finish this game and write this review. At first, I thought it was just because I had played three other Zelda games back to back prior to this one. Then I thought maybe it was because it was so different from Ocarina that I was just having trouble adjusting. But now, finishing up, it's because it felt like a chore for 3/4th of it's runtime.

All of that said, I did enjoy aspects of Majora's Mask. I was really fixing to hate this game completely, but there is enough variety and excitement to keep me on a somewhat positive spectum. The different game mechanics that come with the masks are all fun to use. I thought it was cool that the masks give you different instruments when you play your ocarina. The side quests are all interesting, the characters in them are all unique and memorable, and it does fill me with a bit of jolly feelings finishing their quest and getting that little ribbon by their name in your notebook. The menus look a lot better with the gold aesthetic compared to Ocarina's multicolored mess menus. I like the new animations for platforming, where Link jumps and does flippy shit instead of just leaping forward. And the ominous tone is definitely welcome to me after my criticism of the tone in the last game. The moon is legit creepy, as is the mirror shield, and the "Hollow Soldiers" that you get before the Stone Temple

He just gives me the heeby jeebys

The story of the game has just the right amount of darkness and humor to tickle my fancy. One of the characters sings you his backstory with his dying breath, which was an unexpected moment that made a friend and I laugh and smile. The music in this game, like in all Zelda games, is pretty good. Some of the music is a lot darker and ambient, while others are a lot more lively. My favorites are probably the Song of Healing and the Clock Town theme, which both show the contrast in musical tone the game has to offer. And it's also pretty neat to get the origin of my absolute favorite Zelda song, the Song of Storms.

The game really picks up after the water temple (a trend that I've seen in these last two games), as that's where the puzzles start to become harder and the game's interesting ideas start rearing their head. From the final confrontation with Skull Kid to the ending stretch before the final fight, I was completely engaged and engrossed by the story. It became philosophical in tone and added a really ominous feel to what was already an ominous game. And seeing everything unfold made me glad I did some of the side quests, because without one in particular I would have had no idea what the end of this game was supposed to mean.

In the end though, Majora's Mask just was not my cup of tea; at least not most of it. Mechanically, there is nothing wrong with the game. It plays the same as Ocarina of Time, it looks basically the same, save for some updated animations and better menus, and your opinion on the time mechanic is going to determine if you think it aged better or worse. To me, it just feels like a chore to make it through the main game.

Fondly enough, the side quests make it feel like an actual adventure and that combined with the final act is enough to keep me from completely hating this game. Despite it feeling like a chore to make it though the entire thing, there were glimmers of a great game in here. I know it sounds like I'm beating a dead horse with that statement, but it is the truth. It took me forever to beat, I had to take several breaks, but I'm still going to give it a 6 out of 10. It is an experimental game that just isn't for me. Much like with Ocarina, I do understand why people like this game, but unlike Ocarina, it's just not for me. I know people that consider this game the best Zelda game, but at the same time I know people who think Skyward Sword is the best one, so yeah. Opinions are tricky 

I, on the other hand, like the game that I'm going to be playing next MUCH better. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it's my favorite Zelda game. But I have never finished it! So the journey continues as we move on to the next quest. And surprisingly, after all the bitching I do about it, it's a game about sailing. And you know what that means.

Water,

Lots and lots of water.

Be ready

The Zelda Project Part 3: Ocarina of Time

Flameshields: Engaged

Alright, let's get this out of the way now. I don't think this is the greatest video game of all time. I don't think it's the best Nintendo game ever. I don't think it's the best N64 game ever. I don't even think it's the best Legend of Zelda game ever. So if any of that bothers you, this is where to stop.

Still here? Good.

This game is fucking great. Amazing even, especially for its time. Ocarina of Time is a master class of gaming. Level design? Off the charts. Music? Jesus Christ in a wood-chipper, it's amazing. Gameplay? Eh...it's aged, but it still works. Visuals? They still look good. Not PC Master Race levels of good, but looking at what else was around at the time, it's INCREDIBLE! I mean, look at Super Mario 64 and then look at Ocarina of Time. 

Those textures, the castle, the skybox. Jesus, it's like looking into the future. And I know, Mario is supposed to be Cartoon-y and this Zelda went for a more realistic approach, but the contrast in the capabilities shown off is still striking. This is what two years of working with what a system can do looks like. And it shows. This game is more polished visually than anything else I have played from the era. 

At The Time/Background

So, I actually have two backgrounds with this one. First, what was I playing in 1998 when Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time came out? Well, I had a Playstation and was playing games like Crash Bandicoot, Spyro The Dragon, and WCW/NWO Thunder. Two of those games were really, REALLY good. And I'll let you decide which ones they were 

Goldberg > Spyro

I didn't own an N64 at the time, nor did I want one. Until I saw the commercial for WCW/NWO Revenge. In case you didn't realize by now, I am a huge wrestling fan. Walking through Toys'R'Us as a kid with the displays of Hollywood Hogan and Goldberg everywhere...I wanted it. Nay, I NEEDED it. I begged my Mom for it for Christmas, but she told me it wasn't for the Playstation. See, I was six at the time, and didn't understand that there was anything other than the system I had. From birth I had a SNES, so it didn't even occur to me that there was something else before. I didn't know what a Sega Genesis was. I had no clue that Game Boys existed. So I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Eventually, when I started going to friends houses, I found out people had other games than I had. I remember playing an N64 for the first time at my friend Ethan's birthday party. I actually got to play WCW/NWO Revenge, And that was the moment I had to have it.

And eventually I got it, along with every wrestling game known to man. But I got my N64 at the tail end of 1999. And by that point, most of the "famous" titles had passed me by. The only non-wrestling games I had were Donkey Kong 64 and Super Smash Bros. The latter was my official introduction to Link, as I've talked about before. He became my main character and I loved him without ever having played the game. Fast forward to college, people start judging me for using Link but having never played a Legend of Zelda game before. And this argument inspires me to play the most iconic game in the history of games.

So I started playing it. I started with what would essentially be my generations starting point. And I played it with all of my friends watching me conquer this trial. And that is where the problems started for me. This next paragraph is going to be a whole bunch of statements, so please bare with me here.

You see, I'm playing this years after playing all of the games I consider the best of all time. And my friends are trying to get me to play a game they all loved that everyone else thinks is better than all of my games. And it's a game they've all played hundreds of times. I've never played a Zelda game or a game like this. The closest is Okami, which I've never finished. So everyone is judging me for not knowing how to do things. Instead of letting me figure out stuff on my own, they're just telling me what to do. Which prevents me from learning the game. Which leads to more judgement. Which leads me to get frustrated because I don't like to be told how to play a game. And then I quit, and decried Legend of Zelda forever.

So I stopped, angry and frustrated. I couldn't do it. I got to the Forest Dungeon boss and quit. Because I didn't learn the mechanic to beat the boss. Because instead of figuring out the mechanic on my own, I was told how to progress and just assumed it was a one time thing like other games do. I didn't understand the Zelda Tropes, and that led to the downfall.

So for the years following, I just used Arin "egoraptor" Hanson's argument for why Ocarina of Time isn't that great from Sequelitis. I figured it was good enough to back up why I didn't like the game. If someone asked for more detail, I would just say I didn't like it and try to leave it at that. The problem with piggybacking off of someone else's opinion is that...well...it's someone else's. No matter how much I claimed to agree with Arin's opinion, I didn't really have a basis other than "this dude I know on the internet doesn't think it's that great, so...neither do I." It's like when someone in your group of friends claims that a restaurant gave them bad service, so you just avoid it. Even though you've tried a bit and thought it tasted alright, but had a bunch of people breathing down your neck saying "Don't you think it's amazing, Dean? Everyone else loves it and everybody can't be wrong! Why are you bad at eating this food?! Just put it in your hand like this."

...Okay, that comparison deteriorated a bit, but my point still stands. I didn't like the game for arbitrary reasons that make me seem like a total snob. But, I digress. Enough background, lets get to this.

In The Beginning

So the game starts off with The Great Deku Tree, the guardian of the forest(?) summoning a fairy named Navi to find the boy with no fairy in the village. The Tree then wants Navi to lead the boy back to him, for he has a message. So Navi get's the boy who, surprise, is you, and leads you to the Tree. The Deku Tree then tells you to get in his mouth and get a stone for him. So you do, and then the Deku Tree tells you he's dying and you have to save the world. Then he dies...and it's kind of awkward. Because like...you just met him, then he dies, and you just sort of walk back to your village and have all of the people accuse you of murder. It's weird.

Anyway, you are sent to meet with Zelda who tells you that the world is totally fucked because a guy named Ganondorf is going to kill everyone and take over the world. The only way to stop him is to open the temple of time and gain the Master Sword, the sword of evil's bane (again)! So you do, and then Ganondorf chases after Zelda and kills you. Game over.

Except it isn't. You wake up in a pool of your own blood water with a guy named Rauru standing over you. He tells you that you've been dead sleeping for seven years. You realize that at some point he slipped some white tights onto your naked child body and are a little disturbed. But he informs you that the world has, indeed, gone to shit while you slept and now it is up to you to fulfill the prophecy and become the Hero of Time. Find the Seven Sages (again), use their power to lock up Ganondorf, and save Hyrule (again)!

That is, of course, the barest of bare bones synopsis of this game, because there is actually a lot going on. This game has a LOT of characters that, while necessary to the plot, would just make this review overly long. Not to mention all of the mask side quests, the Skulltula's side quest, the beans, the pieces of heart...there is a LOT to this game. Hell, we're not just dealing with humans and...not humans anymore. The game introduces new races into the Zelda lore, such as a Gorons and the Gerudos. They also revamp the Zora's, going from making them look like the Creature From The Black Lagoon to looking like...well...this

All that water goes through his butt crack...

The Quest

The main quest of this game is pretty cut and dry. Temples, Princess Zelda, Tri-Force, Ganon...dorf, Hyrule is saved. But where this game shines is not so much the quest itself, but the circumstances surrounding them. In Link to the Past, you had a purpose for going to the temples (save the sages), but aside from the item and heart container within them, that was your only motivation. This time around, there are storyline purposes to make it though the dungeons too. And as a story-driven games person, this was a huge plus for me. The first time I played this game I just wanted to play it. I didn't care about the story because it was a point-proving thing. This time, I took the time to enjoy it. And while I've seen many games with better stories, this one is well above average. This game weaves all of the dungeons together, especially after you become adult Link.

You go back to the Lost Woods to visit with Saria because she has called to you. After that, Death Mountain looks like it's about to erupt, so you visit the Goron's and find that they've all been captured.  After taking care of that, you feel the chill in the air from Zora's domain. Why is it frozen? Where are all the Zora? After taking care of that, you travel back to Kakariko Village to find Impa has gone missing. After that, you head to the desert in search of the final sage. You hear about this evil woman named Nabooru, who used to be a Robin Hood-esque thief but is now the right hand woman to Ganondorf. When you get to the Spirit Temple, you are forced to travel back in time to come back. When you do, you meet Nabooru and she's actually really nice! And you witness her capture that turns her into the evil woman you hear about! Holy shit, that is some deep time-travel story telling. It's all woven together really well, and really makes the dungeons have some weight for me.

That said, lets talk dungeons. The Spirit Temple was my favorite by far. I like the Egyptian aesthetics and the fact that you go though it in two halves was really cool. It's something I wish the other dungeons had done, because otherwise it was next to pointless to go back and be a kid again for the main quest. The Forest Temple was way more confusing than it needed to be, though that might be my fault. The Water Temple, for years, has been build up to be this incredibly daunting challenge. And while it did take me a while, it wasn't really hard. Just really, REALLY tedious. If you didn't have to pause the game, switch your boots, go to the different levels, pause again, take off your boots, play your ocarina, lower the water level, jump down, swim through a hallway, open the chest, raise the level...ugh...yeah. It's just as tedious as I just made it sound. It's just so boring. And the enemies respawn, so the whole time you're switching, things jump down from the top of the middle pyramid...thing and hit you. And you can't use your sword underwater, so you have to hope your hook shot hits whatever you're trying to hit and kills it. The water temple is a huge blemish on an otherwise great game. The only saving grace of it is the really fun boss fight.

The other dungeons are just sort of blah for me. They weren't bad by any means, but the layouts themselves were just nothing special. Some of them had some really nice aesthetics and themes, but they just don't jump at me as much as the others. I mean, the lava dungeon doesn't have an Iron Knuckle for me to fight. It just has some bats. But, at least the lava boss is cool. In fact...

The Bosses

All the bosses are really cool, especially the ones after you become adult Link. Not only are the bosses cool, but the mini-bosses are also cool. Out of nowhere in the Water Temple, you fight Shadow Link! And he kicked my ass, but it was a really awesome fight! The aforementioned Iron Knuckles are also a personal favorite. Bongo Bongo (from the Shadow Temple) and the Scorceress Sisters (from the Spirit Temple) are my absolute favorite fights in the game. The last thing I expected in the Shadow Temple was a giant bongo-playing ape demon? This fight had to have inspired Donkey Konga

Future review?

Finally though, after collecting the sages, finding out Sheik's secret, and returning to Hyrule Castle, you confront Ganondorf. This ending level is absolutely awesome. Going through mini sections of the former dungeons was great. Climbing the castle sets the tone for the fight that you're about to have. Finally, you reach a room where Ganondorf awaits. He zaps Navi away and you're left without a way to target him! Shit man! You volley his attacks back at him, a la Agahnim in the last game. But, the difference here is in Link to the Past, you were on a 2D plane. This time, it's 3D, and that actually makes this fight exciting. You have to make sure your aim is going to be spot on and the timing is different because things are traveling at an angle.

So you beat him and the game is over, right?

Wrong. Now you have to escape the castle before it crumbles, Metroid style! So you go though the castle you just climbed to escape your death. 

So, you escape the castle with the princess. Surely, that must be the end, right?

DOUBLE WRONG! Now you have to fight GANON! And this time, Navi is there. BUT! You lose your sword. So now what are you gonna do? Using your cunning, you find Ganon's weakness, wear him down enough to get your sword and continue the fight to the death! This fight is fucking awesome. All of the previous Ganon fights pale in comparison, even the last one which was in it's own right great. But this is something else entirely. Not only is this the best final boss of the series that i've played so far, but it might be in my top final boss fights ever. It is crazy awesome, and beating it at 5 a.m. really made this a wild ride.

Now, the part that people are going to be pissed about...

The Criticism

This game controls like total ass. I'm sorry, it just does. Link does not target anything you want him to. In fact, he'll try and look at mostly anything but what's in the room with him. I realize it was the first targeting system of it's time, but holy shit it is awful. And it's not just the targeting. Movement in this game is a chore in and of itself. Thankfully the platforming is pretty minimal, but when it does happen it is a nightmare. The Water Temple is particularly bad about this, as there are a couple of timed platforming spots that SHOULD be easy to get through, but Link decides where he's going to jump without your consent. He just give's no shits about the fact that missing a pillar will just kill you until you warp back into reality.

Don't even get me started on riding Epona. It is thankfully a very, VERY minimal (and optional) piece of the game, but it seems to me that figuring out her controls were an afterthought. Turning her is like turning that one shopping cart at Wal-Mart that has 3 busted wheels. The fact that I even won the race to keep her is a miracle of gaming. Actually, it was me glitching out Ingo, but y'know, same difference. I'm glad that the horse archery section never got incorporated into a boss fight or anything because if it had, this section would probably be a hell of a lot longer.

There are two things I hate in video games. Ice levels and water levels. This game has these two things back to back. It is the worst thing ever in the history of ever. Maybe that's a bit harsh, but I cannot STAND water or ice levels. The ice physics conbined with the already loose controls of this game just lead to frustration. There is a (thankfully) small section in the Ice Cavern where there's a spinning spike thing turning quickly in a circle in the middle of this room. It does not matter how cautiously I tried to get through this room, I could not do it. Chalk it up to me being bad at games if you want, but it's just awful.

Speaking of awful, the whole Jabu Jabu section is complete ass. The "dungeon" itself is hideous, escorting the snooty Princess Ruto is annoying, and I could not possibly want it to be over faster. 

Also, the music in this game, while being some of the most memorable from the series, is pretty unmemorable. Let me explain. All of the songs you collect for the ocarina are memorable. Song of Storms, Saria's Song, Zelda's Lulluby, Song of Time...they're all memorable. I know how to play a couple of them on a real ocarina. But, the warp songs like the Bolero of Fire are just...not. I can hum you the Sun's Song. I can't say the same for the Nocturne of Shadows. And worst of all, the dungeon music is all pretty boring and samey. The village soundtracks are fine. Kokiri Forest and Hyrule Town Square have some fun tunes, but the rest all sort of bleed together for me. The music seemed like a letdown to me considering how highly regarded this soundtrack is. 

Lets see, is there anything else? Yes, there is one. Now I want to stress right away that this one particular critique is purely a personal preference thing, but it was sort of the nail in the coffin moment for me the first time I tried to play this game. And it still bothers me.

So, you know how Ganondorf has taken over Hyrule and obstensibly the world when you wake up from your sleep? Well, when you walk out, Hyrule's Time Square is completely destroyed. Everyone is dead. There are zombies Re-Deads all over the grounds that were once bussling with people. The upbeat music that used to inhabit this area is gone. The sky is dark and brooding. It looks like the end of the world. So you run through the town square to outside the Castle grounds. Once you cross the bridge, you have to be thinking "what else could have happened out here?!"

The answer is nothing. Basically nothing happens. The overworld is still bright and colourful with the same upbeat music playing. Nothing on the surface seems to be in disarray. It is a total tonal buzzkill. And sure, after playing though this time, I found out that some characters were met with a depressing fate. Malon has his farm stolen. The Gorons are imprisoned. Zora's domain is frozen. The contractors get locked up in Gerudo Valley. That's all fine and dandy, but with such a drastic change in scenery inside the castle grounds, I just expected the whole world to be a little more...ominous.

 

Soon...

Final Thoughts

This game may not be my favorite of all time, but it definitely deserves to be ranked as high as it is. It is a spectacle, even for someone who's experiencing it 19 years after it was first released. And yeah, I have some complaints, but having complaints doesn't make a game bad by any means. No game is perfect, and I think a lot of people that have gone back to review this game only do it because they want to sing the games praises while ignoring it's flaws. No, this game is not perfect, but I've yet to play one that is. Hell, I gave Link to the Past a perfect ten and I still think it had flaws. It just depends on how glaring the flaws are weather they matter or not. Unfortunately, the transition to 3D produced more flaws than were here previously. It's a great game that unfortunately has aged too poorly for me to give it a perfect. I'm going to give Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time an 8 out of 10. Any trashing of this game I did before I played it can hereby be stricken from the records. 

I do, once again want to stress that I am judging these games are they are now, in 2017. I'm doing my best to block out how "revolutionary" a game is in it's time because I feel that if you are not judging something in the here and now you're being biased. A movie can be watched at anytime and judged for how it is now. Sometimes things don't age well. But sometimes they do. A movie like King Kong still looks great in 2017. The practical effects are a marvel and still hold up surprisingly well. Music is the same way. The Beatles aren't looked at as a band "of their time", they are just looked at as a band. Bands that are looked at as  "of there time" are bands like Kix and Ratt; bands that only survived because of the market at the time. 

I'm not going to judge these games on a handicap just because people like them. There are shitty Beatles songs that don't ruin an album but still need pointed out. There were shitty sections of this game that didn't ruin this game. But much like a shitty Beatles song, it brought it down a peg or two. That's just the nature of the beast.

Like the new set up? I thought it'd give the reviews a little more of a streamlined feel, y'know? Kind of got the idea from The Completionist. I dig his structure to his reviews, and I'm sort of aping it. So I hope you guys dig it too. I'll see you next time for The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask.

The Zelda Project: Prologue

So, Legend of Zelda. It's, like, a pretty good game. It is exactly what the name states: a legend. One of the most iconic series in video game history! Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, up until I was in college i had never played one.

I'll let that sink in for everyone. We good? Okay, cool.

So, how does someone who loves video games SO much miss out on such an iconic franchise? I don't know, I guess i was just too busy playing Mega Man X and Super Metroid. Fantasy games never really intrigued me, and Zelda fell into that category for me. In fact, when I first got Super Smash Bros. for my N64, I didn't even know what game Link was from. The fact that he ended up being my main character, even above mah gurl Samus Aran, is sort of ironic in that regard. I didn't know what Ocarina of Time was, I had no idea why he was so prominent among characters that I KNEW like Mario and Donkey Kong. Hell, looking at the roster of the original game, it's between Link and Star Fox of who I cared about less, which to any other Nintendo fan would probably some sort of blasphemy.

Also this kid, whoever he is. Ninten or whatever? Who cares...

And, suddenly, in college, I was called out. Playing as Link in Super Smash Bros with my newly made friends, I was questioned for my opinion on the "best Zelda game". The faces of the people around when I said I had never played one made it seem like I made a Jesus joke in the middle of Jerusalem. And then I was told about how amazing these games were and that I needed to play Ocarina of Time to "earn" my right to play as Link. And sure, I had seen Ocarina on every "Top 100 Games Ever" list, but even as a man who loves his lists, I still take those things with a grain of salt. Hell, Undertale won a "Best Games Ever" list a couple months after it came out. Like, how do you judge something that soon? It's not like Star Wars was considered a classic the second it came out. It's only in hindsight that something is considered a masterpiece.

And, enough time has passed. and pretty much every Legend of Zelda game is considered a "Masterpiece" by a gamers. So I played Ocarina of Time. Aaaaaaaaaand, I hated it. I thought it was too wordy, too slow, ugly, clunky, and straight up boring. And the moment I THOUGHT it was about to become amazing, when I thought it was going to go through a drastic tonal shift, it just...doesn't. It's a bait and switch, but one that I'll get into when I play it again.

So, yeah, I was pretty disheartened with the whole thing. I was disappointed and even felt guilty that I used Link after having this revelation. So I thought "Man, there has to be SOME Zelda game I like"

So I played the first one. And I liked it. And then my old roommate, Jeff, made me play Zelda 2 with him. And I liked that one too. And then, when I got a Wii U, they gave me Wind Waker HD. And I LOVED it! And I bought a Link to The Past and played that. And it was...fine, I guess.

The problem with all of this is...I only finished one of them. Zelda 2 ended up being a lost cause, Link to The Past just didn't grasp me when I had Super Metroid and Marsbound or whatever that Lucas game is on the same system. And I got stuck in Wind Waker. So the only one I ever beat was the original.

But I loved a lot of things from the games I never finished. I liked the open oceans of Wind Waker. I loved the presentation of Link to the Past. I uh...played Zelda 2. 

Dick sword

Anyway, I liked them enough to get me to start collecting some of the Zelda games. Enough to get me to buy A Link Between Worlds and beat it and think it was absolutely amazing. And enough to get me hype for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild, an upcoming game that will be the first Zelda game I buy at launch. This brings me to the main point of all of this. This leads to what this is all about. 

The Zelda Project as I'm calling it is me playing and beating several Legend of Zelda games leading up to playing Breath of The Wild. The catch is, in addition to playing and beating the games, I'm going to review them. A couple of these will be first time plays for me, so they will be honest first impression takes. Others will be just finishing a game I'd never made it though.

This project will include the following games: The Legend of Zelda, A Link To The Past, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, and Wind Waker. I may or may not be reviewing Breath of The Wild as well, and might do a write up on A Link Between Worlds, but it's up in the air right now. It's a project that I want to do to understand the hype behind these games; an outsiders perspective on what is so mesmerizing about a kid in a green tunic rescuing a princess. I want to feel what so many other people feel about these games. I want to understand what I missed out on as a kid and find out if that magic is still there for an adult to enjoy their first time. No nostalgia, just pure first (or, in some cases, second) impressions. But, i'm getting ahead of myself. As for now, I urge you to stay tuned. The first review will be coming this coming Thursday (February 23rd)! And I'm really excited about it.